Hansa Beer

Upon my first healthy swig of Hansa I was entirely unimpressed. The hefty bottles proudly declare themselves "Imported Dortmunder" and boast of "Pure Quality" that I have yet to discover.

I generally hold German brau, especially those adherent to German Purity Law, to a higher standard than most beers. With great expectations inherently come disappointments, which is entirely apt for Hansa beer. It is never much more than disappointing.

The pour of this beer is very thin. Unmasked it is revealed to be pale yellow, watery, and with very little head (all of which quickly disappears). The best analogs that come to mind instantly are cheap American light beers. The mouthfeel is poor, thin, almost non-existant. The taste is decent, slightly bready, but the first two bottles I tried had a distinctly metallic hint behind the initial flavor. I appreciate modern brewing methods, but I don't want to taste the brite tank in the final product. The subsequent bottles (on subsequent nights) tasted much less metallic, leading me to think the Dortmunder-Hansa Brauerei is hit-or-miss bottle to bottle. Without the metallic finish the beer is smooth. There's no unpleasant bitterness, and the very mild taste of hops is pleasing.

Aside from being mild and smooth at best, I can't say much else in favor of Hansa's drinkability. What makes this beer more drinkable is it's price. At $6-$7 for a 6-pack of 500mL (just over a pint) bottles, it's among the cheapest of imported beers. Unfortunately it lacks the quality many of it's German bretheren possess. Much like the dainty carbonation of the beverage itself, this beer is nothing more than tremendously flat.
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The skinny:
Pros: light, smooth, cheapish
Cons: watery, hit-or-miss, metallic (sometimes)

Make an Assessment:
Giving Hansa repeated trial runs, I'd say that it's growing on me. It goes well with a meal, and could be a good game-day thirst-quencher. While I'm unlikely to purchase it regularly, I'll admit that it's drinkable. In other words, I've had much worse beers, but I've also certainly had much better. In my book it was worth a try for the sake of trying, but I'll refrain from recommending it anytime soon. Better overall value can be found in classics like the Champagne of Beers and PBR.

Overall Review Scores:
Grade: D
Score: 60%
If it were a movie: ★★
My Feelings: meh.

The Future Now - Hazy Orange Sunday

Hazy Orange Sunday is the debut LP from the Gainesville, FL trio The Future Now. Simple, understated, fun homegrown rock and roll music. The term homegrown is brutally apt, as the album was recorded in the comforts of a Gainesville living room. I have to say outright that for a living room debut record this is fantastic.

The Future Now produces a sound seeking to hearken back to a simpler era of rock, devoid of the overly technical riffs and blistering screams that come a dime a dozen today. Paradoxically, the throwback sound is actually like carving a new path in contemporary music. The sonic simplicity is a breath of fresh air, which should prove open to a wide variety of listeners. While not tremendously impressive in terms of instrumentation, Hazy Orange Sunday is full of entertaining, well written songs with pacing that makes the album spin freely over and over.

The album doesn't sound retro in the popular classic-rock revival way, The Future Now instead veers toward the more recent alternative music wave, drawing heavy comparisons to the surge of 1990s grunge bands. Don't let that invoke a Seattle plaid-laden image though, in between the lines these guys have as much Danzig or James Iha as Mark Arm. Suprisingly or not, little to no Peter Hammill influence can be found.

What doesn't work well for The Future Now is unimpressive production quality. Yes, it's great for a small band's album recorded at home, but it's not as deep or sonically impressive as it could be. As well, there is a simplicity to the instrumentation of the guitars that will be easily passed off by many as a lack of talent. While it doesn't hurt the music, it forces the band to rely on strong song writing and presence to captivate audiences. While the album is entertaining, bands like The Future Now usually rely heavily on live shows to bring their music to life for fans. Unfortunately, they seem to have day jobs, so they can't constantly tour. Though, it looks like they are playing shows throughout the Southeast US right now, with a schedule up on their Myspace page.

The best moments of the record emerge when the band gets heavier and more aggressive, as in the songs Ghost Cousins and Terrorarium. Working well also is the slower, more heartfelt sound of the floor tom driven A Necessary Fiction. The entire album passes the mark, with no instant-skip songs. More than listenable, the album is fun and easy to get into.
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The skinny:

• Pros: simple, fun, fuzzy rock and roll, easily accessible
• Cons: still green, no constant touring schedule

Make an Assessment:

• I like it. Check out the Myspace, go see them live, have a brew and chat them up (really nice guys). Pick up the LP at the SoundStudy Recordings shop.

Overall Review Score:

• Grade: B
• Score: 84%
• If it were a movie: ★★★★
• My Feelings: "What a sight to see, what a sound to hear!"

Minus the Bear - Omni

I've been dreading writing up a review of the new Minus the Bear album, Omni. I'll explain.

I've given the album a lot of spins since it leaked a few months ago, and when it officially hit shelves I proudly shelled out some hard earned salad so the band that I've grown to love can live another day. I make the point that I bought it as a huge Minus the Bear fan because had I not been familiar with them there is little chance I would have bought it at all. I gave Minus the Bear my money because I want them to go back into the studio and come out with a better album next time. I've been dreading reviewing Omni because I'm torn between praising them for another good hour of listening pleasure or panning them as a band I feel should have made a better record.

The entirety of Omni takes a step backwards stylistically. There is a resemblance to their 2005 LP, Menos el Oso, but almost no hint of what was presented via the follow up in 2007, Planet of Ice. The progression to a grittier, more progressive rock sound on PoI has been completely polished off by their move to Dangerbird Records, and Omni producer Joe Chiccarelli. There is a distinct return to pop-laden tunes. At times here synths flow ethereally across Jake Snyder's overt sexual couplets, contrasting with moments of pop-funk grooves and electronic drums boom-chick boom-chicking their way through. The overall sound coming out of the speakers is distinctly Minus the Bear, but it seems to be wrapped up in a more widely accessible (read: mainstream) package. One can speculate endlessly about whether the shift is intentional for the sake of radio spins and album sales, or if they might have felt a backlash from fans about the departure PoI took into more serious and dark themes. Whatever the reasoning, Omni is certainly lighter, sexier, and more widely listener friendly than it's predecessor.

The pre-release single My Time has turned heads with it's catchy sing-along chorus. Secret Country is a standout effort, heavier and more befitting to the Minus the Bear catalog. Excuses provides a nice Act II/III mellow jam to pace the album. The final track, Fooled by the Night, provides a meditative drone for a smooth finish.

The problem is that Minus the Bear have failed to raise the bar. The entire album, barring a few passages, feels watered down. Like a Cliffs Notes' Minus the Bear, the premise is present, but the colorful originality has been abridged. There is a lack of the lyrical wit and intrigue of Highly Refined Pirates, the raw intensity of Planet of Ice, and the subtle sophistication of the Acoustics EP.

I find it necessary now to point out that despite my beef with this album, it's good. It's certainly worth listening to, and if funky indie synth pop rock is your preferred genre you'll definitely love it. This album has tremendous potential to inspire dancing, singing, smiling, and especially love making. I will continue to spin it regularly, although probably less than Minus the Bear's previous albums. In a vast sea of crap contemporary music, even a mediocre effort from Minus the Bear is far above average.
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The skinny:

• Pros: catchy, hooky, poppy, sexy, jammy, punani
• Cons: meh

Make an Assessment:

• The best recommendation I can make is to say download it, listen to it, and judge for yourself on this one. My opinion of Minus the Bear is too biased to bring an objective view. I like this album, even though I find it somewhat disappointing.

Overall Review Score:

• Grade: In general: B, as a MtB album: D
• Score: 82%
• If it were a movie: ★★★½
• My Feelings: "Falling down and splashing up, I'm clapping for a second cut."

Mini-Review II: Return of the Mini - Date Night

In brief, director Shawn Levy (whose previous stabs at directing include Night at the Museum and Cheaper by the Dozen) manages to bring life to Date Night out of a stereotypical humdrum screwball comedy by leaning heavily on the skills of Tina Fey and Steve Carell.

I'll give the bad news first. On the downside, the trailers and previews killed a handful of good moments. Some of the comedy relies on surprises, one-liners, and quick turns. While exiting the theater I heard another mini-review, "It wasn't as funny as I expected it to be." If you haven't payed attention to advertising for Date Night you stand a better chance of enjoying it, as opposed to anticipating foreseen sequences and gags. Also, the film stretches itself a bit thin at times. It broadens to touch on action and romance, causing lulls in pacing.

So, the film is not particularly well written and the plot is thin. However, this film doesn't need either element to be strong because it is all about riffing between Fey and Carell. Chuckle lines rock back and forth between the two like a seesaw. Their chops carry the film throughout. I get the sense that filming Date Night was akin to watching the Bird and Diz trade fours in their prime. The cutting room floor probably laughed it's ass off on fifth and sixth takes. Another high note in the overall presentation is a solid supporting cast, with a handful of well-played extended cameos. Lastly I'll note that my celebrity crush on Tina Fey has grown again. She'd be on my celebrity dream date night list, but this film has convinced me against it.
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The skinny:
Pros: funny people being funny, great cast, light-hearted
Cons: "not as funny as expected"

Make an Assessment:
I didn't bust a gut or find myself rolling in the aisles. I am glad I saw Date Night, and thoroughly enjoyed watching it, but I wouldn't recommend paying theater prices for it. Unless you're an absolute maniac for Tina Fey or Steve Carell it is skippable. Worth watching for free? Absolutely. Worth redboxing? Yes. Worth buying 4 different dvd and Blu-ray editions for maximum worship? Not even close.

Overall Review Score:
Grade: B+
Score: 85%
If it were a movie: ★★★★
My Feelings: I find it funny that I spent a Hamilton to see a movie with a lol line from James Franco featuring an antiquated pistol and mention of Aaron Burr.

Umoja Orchestra at Common Grounds 4/24

Umoja Orchestra blew the roof off of Common Grounds this past Saturday night. The roughly 15 piece Gainesville-native latin/afro-cuban ensemble mingled some afro-cuban, dub, and traditional straight latin together with a youthful energy and pleasingly clean-cut hipster aesthetic to create a musical environment rife with positivity.

This group quickly becoming, if not already, a local favorite gathered a diverse audience. Teens, twenty-somethings, thirty-somethings, seniors, white, black, hispanic, and every other music appreciating demographic seemed to come out in droves to watch Umoja Orchestra go wild. Warming up slowly throughout, talented, pleasing music and a well-paced setlist had the crowd hot like wildfire by night's end, with a majority of the stereotypical head-bobbing crowd shaking their hips and moving their feet for the last few numbers.

Their sound can be raucous and blasty. Traditional old-fogey music elitists may be offended by a noisy presentation at times. However, the sound songwriting and instrumental abilities of the group drastically outweigh their noisy tangents. The sound tech in the booth may also have played a big role in balance issues and technical fault. My personal favorite thing about the Umoja Orchestra is their powerful aura of positivity, good energy, and fun. The band obviously enjoying themselves on stage really helped fuel the audience.

Umoja is embarking on an east-coast tour, up to Brooklyn and back down the coast. Dates can be found on their Myspace page as well as an audio taste of their music. Note, though, that this is the type of band best seen live, their recordings don't do their live performance proper justice.
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The skinny:
Pros: good energy, talented instrumentalists, fun
Cons: balance issues, improper sound-boothing, technical problems

Make an Assessment:
Go see the Umoja Orchestra if you can. They're a relatively low-profile, independent band, but their live show is fun and entertaining. They bring a taste of world-beat music not highly visible in our current mainstream youth culture that acts like a breath of fresh air for jaded ears.

Overall Review Score:
Grade: A
Score: 97%
If it were a movie: ★★★★★
My Feelings: "I think I just baile'd with a seventy year-old man."

Mini-Review, The Way A Review Was Meant To Be Written! - The Bhagavad Gita

I wish I could read Sanskrit, because Krishna has some sick lyrical chops and I'm sure his flow is hot fire in it's original tongue. I recently finished my first reading of the Upanishadic-Vedantic masterpiece, The Bhagavad Gita, the highly-acclaimed Juan Mascaro translation.

Anyone with no previous foray into religious texts, specifically Hindu theology, should find this to be a fascinating read and derive some personal spiritual feeling from it. Those with a theological background will devour it's rich allegory and illustration. It's a fascinating text, short, deep, and poignant. Like most old religious texts, The Bhagavad Gita can seem far removed. Passages can be archaic, unrelatable, and hard to follow. However, there's real meat in between the lines. The dialogue between Krishna and Arjuna can serve as an allegory for meditation on one's soul, or at very least provide a glimpse into an ancient theology founded on moral wholeness.

In today's world, particularly here in the United States, we could all learn something from texts like The Bhagavad Gita. Sri Aurobindo reflected, "The Bhagavad Gita is a true scripture of the human race, a living creation rather than a book, with a new message for every age and a new meaning for every civilization." At very least, we could all derive some peace and harmony from the text. Albert Einstein wrote, "When I read the Bhagavad-Gita and reflect about how God created this universe everything else seems so superfluous."
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Make an Assessment:
I'm not going to do pros/cons or put scores on The Bhagavad Gita. I'll say simply that I enjoyed reading it, look forward to exploring more Hindu texts, and even look forward to re-reading this one. I recommend this book to anyone with enough patience and mental acuity to think about what they read.

INSANITY Workout by Beachbody

ARE YOU READY TO DIG DEEP!?
This is the modest motto of the INSANITY workout by fitness company (and infomercial giant) Beachbody.com. The motto is extremely accurate for this workout program. The "hardcore" fitness regimen promises "the most insane body in 60 days." I'm not sure what constitutes an "insane body," but I'm under the impression that it's a good thing.

The INSANITY set contains an impressive 10 workout dvds averaging about 45 minutes of INSANITY. With the dvds you also get miscellaneous materials to help you on your muscle quest. There's a nutrition guide, a snazzy workout calendar, and a fitness guide. The calendar just relays the order in which to use the dvds. The fitness guide is a booklet of warnings, introductions to and explanations of interval training, and useless drivel. The nutrition guide is a drawn out explanation of eating right, with some lame recipes which are supposed to constitute all of the food you ever eat. A more effective supplment would have been a temporary tattoo that reads, "EAT GOOD CARBS, PROTEIN, AND SOME FIBER. DON'T EAT SUGAR AND FAT, DUMMY!" That way at least you'd have a fun constant reminder when you're about to buy McDonald's again, instead of an oversized coaster mocking you with, "INSANE Nutrition Guide" on the front. In addition to the practically useless print materials there is an online support agent, which I am not allowed to participate in because I'm not INSANE.

The actual workouts are based on interval training, which is a fantastic workout structure that I'll gladly swear by. The INSANITY spin is pumping up the intervals to outrageous proportions. You are meant to preform each exercise throughout the workouts at your "MAX" ability. One of the warnings repeated a few times is to check with your doctor before starting the program. I actually heeded this advice and got the okay to proceed based on the fact that I cycle and walk regularly and appear to be in average physical shape. Nowhere on the INSANITY materials does it say anything about having a professional athlete fitness level before starting.

My beef with the program, starting right from the first workout dvd, is that you are constantly encouraged to push yourself. On occasion your INSANE instructor, Shaun T., will tell you to rest if you're dying or to never compromise your form, but then he'll encourage you to dig deeper and assure you know that he knows you can do it. It may be a fault of hubris, but I cannot reasonably back down from such encouragement until I'm literally falling off of my feet.

Within the first week I woke up feeling like I had pulled a groin muscle. Sure enough, I had over-exerted myself and "shocked" my muscles a bit (according to a PT friend of mine, thanks again btw). I know all about warming up, stretching, and cooling down, but I had simply over done it, and at the encouragement of INSANITY. After more than a week off and another week of conditioning I tried to get back on the INSANITY bandwagon. Again, after less than a week I blew out my lower back by over exerting myself. With no limit being drawn on exertion, and only occasional "don't push yourself too hard" messages I found it impossible to achieve the correct amount of workout. Either this workout program really is meant for professional athletes only, or there needs to be a more stringent set of guidelines for newbies and fatties to get into the program safely.

I will say that the workouts are good, and fun. There is a good amount of variation from day to day, with most of the explanations on the fly, wasting minimal time with unnecessary instructions. The exercises are individually easy to get the hang of. There are only bodyweight and cardio exercises as well, so no additional equipment is needed. I had no problem settling into the pace of the workouts, at times feeling like a lump compared to the desired pace of Shaun T. Fortunately, the seemingly fit backup people on the screen appeared to be having as much trouble as me keeping up at times, so I didn't feel like a total lump. Any workout that has the trainer declaring "This s*** is BANANAS" should be an indication of it's difficulty. Also, I found the stretching sections to be insufficient to really warm me up or cool me down, but a quick pause is easy enough to manage.

I'm certain that you would get "the most insane body in 60 days" if you followed the program and the nutrition guide to a t, however, that's basically impossible for any human being. The workouts are outrageous if you take Shaun T's encouragement to heart, and the meal plan is unrealistic for anyone to follow every day.
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The skinny:
* Pros: fun interval workouts, no equipment required, actually challenging
* Cons: too expensive, frivolous supplemental materials, INSANITY

Make an Assessment:
I neither attempted to follow the meal plan, or finish the full 60 day program. I'm not INSANE enough I guess. I will continue using the workout program, as I see fit, to continue the obviously beneficial interval training. I would not recommend that anybody expect to achieve any specific results of the "insane body" variety. I wouldn't even recommend that anybody spend their hard earned money on this product. While I can see obvious benefits of this type of program, the product just doesn't support the amount of money you have to shell out to purchase it. I believe the going rate is something like $140. For a program with minimal hand-holding, that actually caused me to injure myself, there isn't any valid justification for that price tag.

Overall Review Score:
* Grade: C-
* Score: 65%
* If it were a movie: ★★½
* My Feelings: "I want an exercise that doesn't break my crotch, kthx."

La Fiesta Mexican Restaurant

La Fiesta Mexican restaurant is a staple of Gainesville dining. My family and I have regularly visited La Fiesta since I was young enough to pull off L.A. Lights with dignity.

Back then there was only one location, tucked away off of Newberry Rd., behind the La Quinta Inn, in the Service Merchandise strip mall.

View Larger Map

A couple of years ago they opened another location next to I-75 on 39th Ave.

View Larger Map

Both locations serve great food of the stereotypical Mexican-American variety. Free chips and salsa start things off, always a bonus at Mexican restaurants. The chips are usually pretty fresh, and the salsa is fantastic. I have heard arguments made about whether the salsa is laced with some sort of addictive agent, it's good enough to be suspicious at very least.

Their menu is fairly large, filled with exactly what you would expect at a Gainesville Mexican restaurant. There are numerous varieties of burritos, tacos, enchiladas, chimichangas, fajitas, flautas, quesadillas, and a handful combinations. In addition, there are regularly interesting specials and there's a section of chef's specialties as well. Prices are cheap, ranging from about $7-$13 per plate (or combination). There are also a la carte options for next to nothing. I've had a dinner for three for less than $25. That's no small feat anymore.

Illustrating the American identity of the restaurant, dishes are mild on the spicy-level by defualt, you have to ask specifically if you want something to be hot. Also, there is an absence of many traditional Mexican foods like sopes, mole dishes, and lengua as a protein option. However, their menu has something that most Mexican-American restaurants are lacking, a dedicated vegetarian section.

My fallback item has recently become the vegetarian chimichanga. A veggie chimichanga with peppers, mushrooms, onions, etc. deep fried and smothered in queso sauce, served with rice and beans. I highly recommend trying something off of the veggie menu because most of those items come with veggies that aren't found in the standard meat dishes. If you're a meatetarian I suggest trying the shredded beef as your protein. It far surpasses the boring ground beef or chicken. The shredded chimichanga is a good way to go, but I'm admittedly partial to all things chimi.

The service has always been quick at La Fiesta. Most of the front-of-house staff is young, many UF or high school students. They're generally friendly and accommodating, but always running around at full speed so don't expect a dinner-show. Occasionally a large party will hold the kitchen up a bit, particularly on weeknights, but I've never had to wait more than 20 minutes to be served. Plus, they'll keep the free chips and salsa coming so you don't starve.

There isn't anything to say about the ambiance of either location. There are some stereotypical Mexican sombreros, portraits, a skirt or two, and a handful of red, white, and green flags around. It's obviously not a Disney effort, but pleasingly simple.
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The skinny:
* Pros: cheap, good selection, veggie section, fast, tasty!
* Cons: generally pretty heavy/greasy, not authentically Mexican

Make an Assessment:
With cheap tasty food abound there is little reason to squabble. I highly recommend either La Fiesta location for a good Mexican-Amercian meal. Many Gainesville residents insist that the original location is the only true La Fiesta, but I score both with passing grades. I would never make the claim that any establishment is the "best x, y, or z" in Gainesville, but I will say that La Fiesta is my standby above all others for Mexican food.

Overall Review Score:
* Grade: A
* Score: 95%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★★
* My Feelings: "La Fiesta es el primero restaurante por comiendo la cena y bebiendo las margaritas muy bonita y  búsquedando por putas gordas y hablando el espanol muy guapo! Wait, that doesn't sound quite right, right?"

Coheed and Cambria - Year of the Black Rainbow

A new Coheed and Cambria album came out earlier this week. Year of the Black Rainbow is the band's fifth studio effort as part of their sci-fi cycle, The Armory Wars, an entire concept discography (giant leaps beyond a mere concept album). The band brings an intriguing and entertaining record this time.
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**The next paragraph is for Coheed fans, or people interested in a small band history lesson. Skip to the next paragraph for more review of the album.**
The album serves as a story prequel to their other albums, and as such sparked my curiosity about what direction their sound has taken. The style of music, production, feeling, and attitude of their music has evolved significantly from their debut (Second Stage Turbine Blade, the second chapter in the series) to their second most recent release (No World For Tomorrow, the final chapter). I expected their sound to be much more reminiscent of SSTB because of the story proximity. I have long suspected that the end product of The Armory Wars would be an epic, sprawling box set to be listened to start to finish. If this were the band's intent you would expect the music to make a sensible arc. Black Rainbow throws that idea right out the window. The sound of the album is a logical (and predictable) progression of their sound, expanding upon sonic and stylistic themes they've built over the previous four albums. It in no particular way resembles any precursor to SSTB. I would say that it actually least resembles SSTB of all of their albums.
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Black Rainbow is a deeply layered and sonically vast album. The sound sprawls underneath heavy guitar riffs and Claudio Sanchez's characteristic high, pleasingly harmonic vocals. Coheed and Cambria return to their idiosyncratic musical style, but with twists and turns slightly different from previous albums. There is a more apparent blend of hard and soft, metal and pop through this album. To be more exact, there is a seemingly deliberate ebb and flow throughout. It took me a number of listens to pinpoint, but the balance adds a lot to this record.

Upon first listening to Black Rainbow I found myself tremendously unimpressed. Initially it sounds like the previous couple albums cut and pasted into a new environment. There aren't any stand out gems that had me headbanging in my car. There were passages through the middle and end of the album that even made me want to skip back and listen to the extremely catchy second act again (including "Guns of Summer" and the lead single "Here We Are Juggernaut").

However, I've had the album spinning non-stop at home, in the car, and on my mp3 player since Tuesday and it's growing on me with every go around. After the second listen I began humming along with some standout phrases. Immediately I identified "Guns of Summer" and "World of Lines" as great tracks. The former bringing a more progressive metal sound, the latter a more straight-forward pop influenced hard rock song complete with a sing-along chorus.

As I kept listening I realized that there are a handful of sing-along choruses here. There's enough power and energy to give rise to anthemic moments which are more catchy every time I hear them. The fun and poppy "When Skeleton's Live" and the heavier single "Here We Are Juggernaut" are the notable choruses. Coheed also returns to their unconventional take on ballads with "Pearl of the Stars" which is a listenable song, but aside from a great melodic-bluesy solo, not particularly impressive.

The most impressive feature of the album for me is Chris Pennie's drumming. I love the range of sound and tight, technical grooves that he put down here, his debut record with Coheed. The overall instrumentation of the album is impressive, and the production is great. My biggest beef with the overall sound is that it is somewhat inaccessible. I had to listen through the album before the music started to unfold for me. I appreciate the album now that I've gotten into it, but a lot of listeners will never give this album the time it needs to develop.

Another problem that I have with the album is that while it is a good album, and possibly the first Coheed album that doesn't have a lackluster track that I regularly skip through, it doesn't have any mindblowing songs. No individual track can hold a candle to tracks from their previous efforts. There's an abscence of an accessible radio/MTV-friendly hit, i.e. "A Favor House Atlantic". There's no epic on the level of "In Keeping Secrets of  Silent Earth:3" or "Welcome Home". Only time and a dozen more listens will tell if it can stand up as an entire album despite missing a standout single.
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The skinny:
* Pros: Technically impressive, excellent balance, well produced, growing on me slowly
* Cons: No amazing individual moments, moving farther from Second Stage Turbine Blade

Make an Assessment:
For me, being a Coheed fan, this is a great album with some flaws. I don't know how long this album took to write, but I wish they would have put more time into this record overall. Knowing how talented this band is, and listening to their sound mature for the past four albums, I expected to be more impressed. If you don't like previous Coheed albums this one won't change your mind. However, if you are a fan this is definitely worth buying. At the rate that I'm catching on to it in six months it might even be my favorite Coheed album.

Overall Review Score:
* Grade: B
* Score: 83% (and rising)
* If it were a movie: ★★★★
* My Feelings: "The truth is relevant, but not for looooooooong."

Ernie Ball Slinky Guitar Strings

Ernie Ball strings are classic. These strings are the all-purpose answer to the eternal question: which guitar strings should I buy? For scarcely a tuppence any Joe can grab a good set of reliable strings that sound crisp. After a couple years of slacking off on guitar playing, and hussing around town with house strings from wherever I happened to be shopping, I just restrung two asian-made strat imposters and a 40 year old Yamaha acoustic all with different Slinkys, and each one sounds great.

I used a set of Regular Slinkys on one strat, and Super Slinkys on the other. Both sound good, but I think I'll opt for Hybrid Slinkys on my next string change because I like the thin tops (.009-.016) of the Super and the crunchier bottoms (.026-.046) of the Regular.  On the Yamaha I opted for the Acoustic Light version of the Slinky 80/20 (copper/zinc) which range .011-.052.

All three guitars sound tremendously better than they did with dead, gnarly, rusty strings, and all three control tuning and intonation much tighter than before. The biggest difference is on the acoustic. With ridiculously high action it is probably the most difficult guitar to fret notes on that I've ever played. The overall playability of the guitar has been improved TREMENDOUSLY. I don't all-caps often, so you know I mean business.

The only problem I've had with Ernie Ball strings is that they don't last forever. I've played strings with better tone that were more temperamental, and lasted for less than a week before losing their punch. I've also had strings that hold out for months on end without giving up, but sound like cadavers compared to Slinkys.
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The skinny:
* Pros: cheap, high-quality
* Cons: short-ish life

Make an Assessment:
Great for beginners or pros alike, these strings are affordable and always worth the $5 (or less). These strings have proven their value for a long time. No, they won't last forever, but instead of buying strings that will last three times as long for five times the $, just pick up numerous sets of Slinkys and change them at will. I will probably continue to play on these strings until I'm told otherwise by a real guitarist with another suggestion. If Slinkys are good enough for Jeff Beck and Buddy Guy then they're definitely good enough for me and anyone reading this review.

Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):
* Grade: A
* Score: 92%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★½
* My Feelings: "Oh yeah, blistered fingers! I remember this feeling from when I actually played music."

Little Jake Mitchell and The Soul Searchers - Common Grounds 4/09

I just returned home from the Please Peace Me show at Common Grounds tonight, featuring live music, peace, love, and some student activist tabling. It was a good time all around, even despite the wallet drain of drinking beer at clubs.

The highlight of the evening was without a doubt Little Jake Mitchell and The Soul Searchers (Facebook, myspace). This R&B group brings the noise, and keeps it funky. I can't say that I've seen a solid Soul act in a long while, so I was happily surprised.

This Gainesville based 8-piece brought bluesy, funky, legit soul to Common Grounds, the likes of which I didn't know existed in our small town. They seemed like a fun-loving, high energy, motley bunch of guys brought together by the groove. I am really curious to see these guys perform again, as they may be my new favorite current Gainesville band.

You can check them out next weekend (Sunday, April 18th) at the 5th Ave. Arts Festival. The festival will be going Saturday and Sunday so come out and enjoy some real Gainesville culture, but be sure to catch Little Jake.

Before ending this brief review/plug I'll also give due recognition to Heavy Petty. I'm not a fan of cover bands in general, but every once in a while a group comes together right, and that's what Heavy Petty had going tonight. They definitely had fun, and the crowd was really digging them. I'll be busting out Damn the Torpedoes tomorrow along with my dusty soul/funk catalogue.
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The skinny:
* Pros: great music
* Cons: expensive drinks

 Make an Assessment:
*This review needs no assessment or scores, just go see Little Jake and the Soul Searchers and kick it with a tasty groove.

Overall Review Scores:
see above assessment
* My Feelings: "If you feel good say 'yeah!'--'yeeeeaaaaahhhhh!'"

Gefaf: Water Night Shorts

The First Annual Gainesville Environmental Film & Arts Festival 2010 (GEFAF) took place at the Hippodrome State Theatre March 19-28. The event included 18 environmental film screenings, gallery events, guided nature outings, and eco-film related discussion forums. The Hippodrome State Theatre and GoGreenNation.org collaborated to present the festival.

March 22 is World Water Day, and at the festival all the events of the evening all focused on--yes, you guessed it, water. There was a water tasting, a screening of the fantastic St. John's River documentary The River Returns by Wes Skiles, and a screening of a series of shorts with a directors Q&A. I attended the water shorts screening and Q&A session that followed. There were three shorts featured together, each one highlighting a different aspect of water pollution or misuse. Two of the three directors were in attendance, which added greatly to the screenings.

The first short shown was The Phosphate Dilemma by Lakeland native filmmaker Carter Lord. The film explores phosphate mining in the Peace River watershed in Hardee County, Southwest Florida. The film was put together on a shoestring budget by a tiny group of extremely concerned Hardee County locals. The simplicity of the film is apparent. There aren't any bells or whistles, no shiny special effects. What the film does have plenty of is aerial photography of a ravaged landscape. From up in a helicopter the magnitude of damage to the formerly beautiful Floridian habitat is clear. In creating a case against phosphate strip mining the film is effective. It presents an easy to understand tale of a major corporation buying up land and local politicos to turn a profit at the expense of the environment and the well-being of proximal residents. Despite the abundance of shaky-cam footage and lack of polish this film is both poignant and entertaining.

After the screening Director Carter Lord introduced himself and pleaded the case of his organization 3PR (People For Protecting Peace River Inc.). After apologizing for the simplicity of the film he answered audience questions and dipped a little farther into the mining company's process of exportation (domestic and international) of the phosphate end product. He then begged us all to join and/or support their organization. The group is small now, but they know there is power in numbers so they're currently trying to spread their word as much as possible. The entire film can be viewed and more information on phosphate mining can be found at ProtectPeaceRiver.org.

The second short screened was Born Sweet by director/producer Cynthia Wade. It recounts the heartbreaking tragedy of arsenic poisoning that has affected over 2 million people in Southeast Asia. Following a young Cambodian arsenic-poisoning sufferer named Vinh and his family, the film paints a desperate portrait. One Cambodian organization is shown to be working to fix the problem and raise awareness through the universally appreciated art of karaoke. The pathos level of the film is intrinsically high. I was on the verge of tears a couple of times during the screening. The film is very well made and very entertaining. It seeks to raise awareness about global access to clean water (or lack thereof). I found it to be the most effective of the three shorts that were screened. Born Sweet had a run at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this year, and even won an Honorable Mention in Short Filmmaking. The official website for the film (with a list of screenings), and a link to the organization helping villages like Vinh's, can be found at bornsweetfilm.com.

The last of the three shorts shown was Gimme Green by UF's Doc Film Institute grads Isaac Brown and Eric Flagg. Gimme Green uses a great sense of humor to illustrate the absurdity of America's "obsession with the residential lawn". The film has toured the festival film circuit for the past few years and has earned numerous awards. The message is clear from the outset, people obsessed with lawns are nutty and maintaining a residential lawn at the expense of citizen safety is even nuttier. There is plenty of information and support for pointing out the problems addressed in the film, but there isn't as much support for solutions or alternatives to residential lawnscaping. Artificial turf is shown to be an unrealistic, impractical alternative to sod. One natural Florida-native yard is shown, but little else is mentioned. A more dedicated passage about realistic, enviromentally-friendly alternatives would have increased the effectiveness of the film greatly. Despite it's flaws Gimme Green is both captivating and entertaining.

Director Eric Flagg was on hand to entertain audience questions and give general insight about the film. Flagg seemed a down-to-earth and funny filmmaker, leaving me looking forward to his future projects. An employee of the UF/IFAS Extension added more about solutions to our lawn obsession (to start check out their website, solutionsforyourlife.ufl.edu). Gimmegreen.com is the official website of Gimme Green, and the film can be viewed entirely online here.
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The skinny:
* Pros: cheap, good entertainment, properly focused documentary shorts
* Cons: none to mention

Make an Assessment:
I had a good time at GEFAF, and on the Water Shorts Night as well. I recommend that anyone in Gainesville check out GEFAF next year.  With tickets at $5 a pop you're in for a good cheap date. I also recommend that anyone outside of Gainesville who has an opportunity to attend a screening of any of these three shorts do so. The Phosphate Dilemma and Gimme Green can both be viewed online, so that's a good alternative for anyone who can't make a screening. I personally think everyone in America should make themselves watch a handful of American documentaries to support the spirit of documentary filmmaking and to raise individual awareness of issues that affect people here at home and around the world. You may even learn something!

Overall Review Scores:
The Phosphate Dilemma
* If it were a movie: ★★★
Born Sweet
* If it were a movie: ★★★★
Gimme Green
* If it were a movie: ★★★

Zéfal Toe-Clips 43 (with mt. christophe straps)

I recently started biking around town for fun, to get some exercise, and as a primary means of conveyance to avoid the crockery of having to pay for gas all the time. Oh yeah, and greenhouse gases are bad too. Since I started riding more frequently I've been continuously planning the next way I can pimp my ride. My most recent acquisition is a set of toe clips.

My local bike shop guy steered me in the direction of  Zéfal 43 Toe Clips (with straps) as a cheap and easy way to try the toe-clip setup. So far I'm happy with the decision. For roughly $15 I'm able to ride farther, faster, for longer. I'd say overall I get an extra few miles out of the same amount of expended energy during any normal ride.

The installation of the clips was simple. Snap a reflector off, line it up, slap 2 screws in, strap on, and roll. The clips don't fit like a glove on my wonky 30 year old steel pedals, but they're close enough to function properly, and they probably fit well on most modern pedals (especially native French like the clips themselves).

The clips came with some very simple instructions not only for installation, but also for how to properly use them. After about 5 minutes of practicing adjusting the straps on a short ride I was able to strap in properly and get off the pedals without falling over. The Zéfal 43s are well made, with a good strap system that is easy to tighten and loosen on the fly. So far I haven't had a single "stuck in pedal-falling over" incident.

I've been repeatedly advised to move up to a clipless pedal setup, but I'm not ready to commit to an expensive pedal and shoe system. My main beef with going clipless is that it will be inconvenient for commuting. If I'm running errands and spending time off of the bike it will mean constantly carrying around a pair of regular shoes in addition to my clipless shoes. To this end, my new toe clips are the perfect compromise.

However, there are two major faults of these toe clips. Firstly, they are made of "technopolymer," a.k.a. plastic, which means that they probably won't last forever. They're better than Chinese dollar store plastic, but far from indestructible. I have scraped each clip on the ground a couple times, leaving noticeable scars already. I foresee myself investing in some slightly more expensive clips in the future, made of a more asphalt-resistant material of course. Secondly, using toe clips at all puts any cyclists under the age of 50 at risk of being seriously ripped on. There are many many toe clip haters laying in wait in dark corners. I've gotten a couple looks, but I can't attribute the odd scoffs to any one part of my goofy bicycle riding getup.
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The skinny:
* Pros: Cheap, easy to install/adjust, makes casual and commuter riding more efficient
* Cons: Plastic-y, hater fuel

Make an Assessment:
If you currently ride with any frequency at all and still practice the flat naked pedal style, get some of these. They will improve your overall riding efficiency once you get used to them. It is certainly the quickest and easiest way that I've been able to squeeze more juice out of my Schwinn cycle fruit.

Overall Review Scores:
* Grade:B
* Score: 88%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★
* My Feelings: "My feet are going nowhere! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm on a bike beeeee-atch!"

Silver Dragon Chenese Restaurant

If you grew up in NW Gainesville there is a good chance that you ate at Golden Lights at some point in time. I've heard mixed opinions over the years, but it was my family's favorite casual Chinese restaurant until it closed. Many residents were surely as heartbroken as my family was when we learned of their closing a couple years ago. I've even heard tales of farewell feasts in those final days of cheap and delicious fried rice and chow fun. Well, worry not Gainesville, the Golden Lights proprietors are back with a new establishment right around the corner. It may not be pure gold, the owners have grown humble and downsized by a precious metal, but the Silver Dragon is here, so get it on.

I've visited the Silver Dragon twice now, and I've been pleased overall. For those who never experienced Golden Lights, the fare is straightforward Chinese-American. There are a few chef's specialties and loads of platters (realistically at least 50) with the standard Chinese-American food formula. You can imagine any type of meat, then add a handful of random veggies, then slather it in white/brown/peanut/almond/honey/orange/spicy/fish sauce and place it on top of rice or noodles. If it's done right, Voilà! Instant delicious.

My first visit to Silver Dragon disappointed me overall. I was expecting to walk into Golden Lights, transported magically from the building that is now The Flying Biscuit, on NW 16th and 43rd, into the building that used to be Moraghot Thai, on NW 39th about 1/2 mi. west of 43rd. There was no such magical transportation. The Silver Dragon instantly looks and feels more cheap, generic, and boring than Golden Lights did. They've managed to keep a nice aesthetic of stereotypical Chinese decoration (it's obviously a Chinese restaurant and not a gastropub), but the overall ambiance is somewhat lacking. I will give them aesthetic bonus points for having family children playing, doing homework, and being very cute in a corner booth. The restaurant is clearly a family affair, and that makes any small business just a tiny bit better in my personal opinion.

Who cares about what the new location looks like though? What's the food like? The food is certainly the most important part, and I give my stamp of approval here. The prices are good. With main dishes ranging from $6-$20 there is a good option for any budget. Both times I've gone I've ended up taking at least half of my dinner home, which means if I get a $8 dish and it feeds me twice I'm really paying $4 per meal. That's the kind of math I'm a huge fan of. Also, there is a stereotype about Chinese-American cuisine, let's say, "unbinding" one's lower GI tract. I've never had an unpleasant visceral experience after eating at Golden Lights or Silver Dragon. Whatever ingredients they use are relatively stomach-friendly. I can't say that all of the food tastes perfect, which I'll weigh more heavily on in a moment, but most of what I've tried so far is above average. I'll break my experience down by course:

Drinks:
The only thing I've tried is their (hot) tea because it's a must-have. The same ridiculously hot metal teapot that you've seen a thousand other times at a thousand other Chinese restaurants is presented steeping a very simple and soothing Oolong. The tea service is also helped by cute tiny teacups that I always fill endlessly from that magic metal pot, leaving only a pile of empty sugar packets behind.

Appetizers/Soups:
Silver Dragon does good crispy noodles. Try them with either mustard or duck sauce, both are good. Their egg rolls are almost a perfect reproduction from Golden Lights, crispy and flavorful. They are good but not mind-blowing. The spring rolls are totally average, tasty but skippable. There is some type of pork dumpling that is very good. I'm inclined to say they are fried but I can't remember completely, I only remember liking them a lot. The egg drop soup is homemade and better than a mix, but really only filler, again nothing special. It's almost always the case, but the crab rangoon is delicious and highly recommended to anyone that likes cream cheese.

Entrees:
The selection in the dinner menu is impressive for such a small operation. They've added some pan-asian noodle bowl options (phở and the like) to their already extensive menu, and have kept some duck dishes available as well. My advice is to steer clear of the Vegetarian options if possible. The Buddha's Delight is a staple of Chinese-American cuisine and Silver Dragon's rendition left something to be desired. The meat dishes I've tried are all good. A few notes would be that the Almond Shrimp Ding (and most likely all Almond Ding dishes) is bland but the shrimp in it are abundant and awesome. The Beef with Chinese Black Mushrooms is great all around (the chef's special sauce is a typical savory brown sauce, but they do it well). A personal favorite of mine has always been Orange Chicken, and Silver Dragon pulls it off well.

Accompaniments:
Golden Lights always made a terrific fried rice. I don't know what has changed, but Silver Dragon's fried rice doesn't compare. Either the ingredients or the recipes have changed, and not for the better. Going along with the more pan-Asian side of the menu are a few pad thai options which both looked and smelled tasty, but I haven't tried any yet.
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The skinny:
* Pros: good value, friendly service, tasty, stomach friendly food
* Cons: nothing extremely impressive, hit-or-miss standard dishes, poor vegetarian showing

Make an Assessment:
Overall I don't want to be too critical of Silver Dragon because despite the few flubs I've experienced there my opinion of them is generally favorable. They are definitely my family's standard for casual Chinese in NW Gainesville. Some things should be done better, but they are without a doubt worth trying for dine-in or takeout. Don't be afraid to try something new or ask for recommendations, stay away from very veggie-heavy options, and drink the tea.

Overall Review Scores:
* Grade: B
* Score: 85%
* If it were a movie: ★★★½
* My Feelings: "Good food for a fair price and I don't even have to figure out how to pronounce Qing wen, xi shou jian zai na li? Awesome."

The Paul Sikivie Trio - Gainesville, FL 03/17/2010

Paul Sikivie is an amazing bass player. As the Gainesville Sun article (in the post link) explains, Sikivie has a great jazz education and a lot of experience under his belt for such a young musician. The Gainesville Friends of Jazz and The Thomas Center were recently lucky enough to host an evening with Sikivie and two other extremely talented young musicans, creatively dubbed "The Paul Sikivie Trio."

The New York City based Paul Sikivie Trio consists of Sikivie on bass, Aaron Diehl on piano, and Lawrence Leathers on drums. Individually these three are each very talented, but together they are a more than the sum of their parts. The combination is a handsome, young, energetic, and tight ensemble.

The setting for the show was very mellow. There was a small crowd nestled in the cozy atrium of The Thomas Center. It could easily have been billed as "An intimate evening with The Paul Sikivie Trio." I didn't make it to the show in time for any introduction, but as soon as I took my seat it was readily apparent that the talent of this group was much larger than the audience there to support them.

From the first note to the last, the most pronounced features of the music were a strong sense of whimsy and superlative individual talent from each member. The whimsical quality came out numerous times, bringing a humorous tone into the songs which pulled the audience closer to the music in a much more gratifying way than predictable passages based solely on technical skill.  The solos weren't a dizzying flurry of fingers and drumsticks, but ranged from simple to highly technical while providing a great depth of rhythm and melody. Dynamic swells and subtle shifts in style from phrase to phrase made literally every solo worth clapping for.

The group succeeded in making music that not only displayed their ability to play with a level of skill that is rare, but also in making truly entertaining music that engaged their audience. Going into the performance one fear of mine was that either the group would present an extremely avant-garde session, completely inaccessible to the small-town audience, or that they would play watered-down elevator jazz standards meant to entertain a group of totally naive listeners, like scientists playing nursery rhymes for a room full of orangutans.

I'm not a very experienced jazz listener, so I'll be the first to admit that I can't fully appreciate much of what happens in good jazz. I can say though, that what the trio actually presented was probably somewhere in-between high-brow, inaccessible jazz and the "Jazz for Dummies" version. There weren't any sounds that could be described as really experimental, but they steered well clear of the elevator genre as well. I would have enjoyed perhaps a little more experiment with grooves and playing around with meter, more of a freestyle jam at times. I would love to hear what would come out of a jam session with these three musicians deep, like Mariana Trench deep, into a groove. However, remaining fairly straight, and away from a total jam wasn't necessarily a mistake because the arrangements were clean and good, never completely expected, and always fun. There were good, tight passages with substantial groove a number of times. Sikivie brought together a lively mix of well written arrangements that flowed well. I would love to hear a collection of jazz standards arranged by Sikivie and performed by this group.
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The skinny:
* Pros: Great Jazz, Cheap, Right here in Gainesville
* Cons: You missed it

Make an Assessment:
I am still very impressed by this performance. I haven't seen any good jazz ensembles in a couple years and this was a fantastic surprise for the Gainesville jazz scene. Thank you to Gainesville Friends of Jazz for pulling this together.
As The Paul Sikivie Trio is based in New York, be sure to try and check out Paul Sikivie, Aaron Diehl, or Lawrence Leathers if you're in the city. You will not be disappointed by any of these three awesome young musicians.

Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):
* Grade: A
* Score: 95%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★★
* My Feelings: "I wish I had practiced more when I still had musical potential. These guys are awesome. I want to start a jazz jam. Where'd I stash all my Mingus LPs?"


Bonus points also to Mr. Sikivie for acknowledging his mother during the performance. It takes character to stand in front of a room full of people, a grown man, and thank your parents before playing a song specifically for your mom. Speaking as a true Mama's boy, I know my mom would have been proud.

Nike LunarTrainer+ Shoes

Shoes can be extremely fun and fashionable, but first and foremost they serve a purpose. Some shoes take you where you want to go, some shoes broadcast your personal ideals to the world, and some shoes help you to perform specific athletic tasks.

So here are my new athletic performers in all their glory (tadaaaaaaa!)

I'll be the first to admit that my new Nike's are ugly Ronald MacDonald moon shoes, but they are the absolute #1 on my list of shoes that fulfill their intended purpose. The purpose of my bright red Nike LunarTrainers is training; training my mind to not wimp out in the face of exhaustion, training my spirit to continue pushing onward through fatigue, and most importantly training my fat to get the hell out. Some people just call it cross-training, but more specifically the brand of hardcore masochism I try to practice is interval training.

Basically my application requires a shoe that is supportive heel-to-toe, with lots of ball cushion, and plenty of lateral support. I do a lot of shuffling and side-to-side movement, so cushioning the sides of my feet and keeping my ankles from rolling is extremely important. The Nike LunarTrainer+ completely fits the bill.

In trying out dozens of pairs of shoes I found that running specific shoes just don't cut the mustard for lateral support. They generally have very little support for the ankles, especially for side-to-side movement. Most of the training specific shoes I tried out felt rigid, heavy, or clunky. I had just started realizing that providing ample stability in a training shoe means sacrificing lightness and comfort, but then I came across these guys. I tried them on and within about 20 seconds I was sold. They are extremely light, extremely wide, extremely supportive, and doing a couple of side-steps with them on felt totally natural.

As an aside, imagine me busting "the heisman" in the middle of the store with bright red moon shoes on. It was apparently awesome enough to turn some heads.

One added bonus is the super-comfortable upper. They have a lightweight and breathable mesh body with a sockliner-like set of straps sewn in to fit snugly without choking or chafing the top of the foot. Another bonus (that I'll never utilize for any reason) is reflective detailing scattered around the shoe in a tasteful but probably ineffective way. For those with an iPod, iPhone, or desire to purchase an iWristband-thing there is also the option for use with the Nike+ system which I've never used. I'm not certain of the purpose, but I understand it to monitor your movement and send all of your data to the interwebs so that dweebs at Nike Headquarters can laugh at you for "jogging" from your house to MacDonald's and the general public can join in the fun by logging onto your Nike+ page to see that you've run a total of .6 miles this month.

I think it's fair and important to mention that I tried these shoes on head-to-head against other shoes from various brands ranging from $40-$140 retail, and these ones (originally $100 MSRP, on clearance for $60) were by far the most comfortable and easy to maneuver in. I'd say that if they stand the test of time they'll easily be worth the full $100 MSRP, and I would definitely try on any newer incarnations with great expectations. Also, from what I've read online these are widely available in a variety of colorways so it shouldn't be difficult to get this great shoe and avoid the firetruck-foot look.

I've never been a fan of Nike. I've never thought that as a brand they were comfortable, stylish, or well-made enough to justify their prices. I've owned a couple of pairs of hand-me-downs and clearance rack Nikes, and I've never been blown away by them. When I set out to find a new pair of trainers I expected that I'd likely end up with a pair of NewBalance, Under Armour or Adidas runners. I know that cross-training isn't as popular as it was when Dan Cortese was still hosting MTV Sports, so I didn't expect to find a shoe designed specifically for me. I was kind of blown away when these shoes felt so good and performed so well.

My main concern with these shoes when I bought them was durability. They seem light enough and the "Lunar" foam sole seems like it might wear out quickly. I've read reports of runners getting anywhere from 300+ up to 600 miles out of them, so my fears have somewhat subsided. After using them for the past few weeks I feel confident that they'll last me for at least 6 months, if not a year, before blowing out. If they fail me sooner I'll post an update defaming and cursing Nike back into the sneaker d league in my mind whence they came.
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The skinny:
* Pros: Comfortable, Perfect for Conditioning/Training
* Cons: Uggo, My Cat Dislikes Them

Make an Assessment:
So far I have nothing bad to say about these shoes. Going from a beloved pair of haggard, blown-out Reebok Classics to these has given my feet good reason to praise. I am really happy with these shoes and my outlook on Nike has changed tremendously because of them. If you do any cross-training, or even general gym training I would recommend these highly. My research has led me to believe that a lot of people like them as runners too, but personally I'd go with a more dedicated pair of running shoes if I were doing any distance.

Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):
* Grade: A
* Score: 95%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★★
* My Feelings: "I hate exercising even in these sweet shoes...damn you to hell vanity...come on muscles, I know you're in there somewhere...can I quit yet?...I'm eating like 5 Clif Bars when this is over."

Lush Karma Fragrance

For Valentine's Day this year I was the lucky recipient of a goodie bag from two amazing ladies that included a number of awesome things. Among the awesome were two Lush products for me to try out. One was the Ambrosia shaving cream from my last review, the other was a bottle of the Karma Fragrance.

I had tried the fragrance in stores a couple times and liked it each time. Now that I've worn it a couple more times I can safely say that this is my favorite scent of any that I've ever worn. I'm not huge on the cologne scene, but I've passively searched for the past couple years for a fragrance that fit me perfectly, and after many failures this one is a spot on winner.

Previously when I've tried it my girlfriend has always liked the aroma, and it isn't too masculine for her to wear also. It's difficult to find a men's fragrance that isn't overpoweringly woody, spicy, sweet, or straight up old-man in a Cadillac. Possibly by virtue of being unisex Karma avoids going over the top. The scent is very nature-heavy, with a bit of citrus to keep the foresty edge at bay. One of the primary ingredients is patchouli oil, which would've scared me if I'd known before trying it. The last thing I want to do is walk around announcing to the world that I am the human embodiment of a head shop. Fortunately for Karma, the other ingredients mellow the patchouli into the deep recesses of the scent. You can smell it if you're looking out, but it's not powerful. Fear not smelling like a damn dirty hippie.

Of course, if you are a damn dirty hippie you'll be happy to know that this scent is vegan and not animal tested. Hell, you don't even have to be a hippie, anybody with a conscience should take comfort in a (relatively) clean product.

The main problem I have with Lush, again, is that it is too damn expensive. I understand that the products are all handmade and usually enviro-friendly. I also understand that I am cheap and close to broke, so shelling out $40 for a tiny bottle of sexy smelliness is hard to justify. I haven't put a dent in the bottle yet, so if it lasts I'll change my opinion about the pricetag.

Fragrances are so personal and tastes vary radically, so I would never suggest buying Karma without trying it first. As with almost all Lush products you can ask for a sample and the usually friendly, if not pushy and annoying, staff will generally be happy to hook you up.
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The skinny:
* Pros: smells good on me
* Cons: doesn't smell bad on me, kind of expensive

Make an Assessment:
This is a great scent, and one of Lush's best products hands down. Come and smell me if you need more convincing (ask first, if I've been cycling my bouquet could get lethal quickly).

Overall Review Score:
* Grade: A
* Score: 97%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★★
* My Feelings: ☺☺

Lush Ambrosia Shaving Cream

Firstly, after declaring that I'd like to keep posting on this blog steadily I've let a couple weeks go by sans activity. My family recently suffered a personal tragedy and I've been mostly absent from the internet. I apologize for the hiatus, and I fully intend on returning to my reviewing duties soon. However, now that I'm mentally ready to return to regular updates my body feels like I may be coming down with the plague, and I anticipate that I'll likely be mostly asleep until I can fight off this illness.
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With that said, let's review some consumer goods! Today I'd like to take a look at Ambrosia Shaving Cream from Lush, the pseudo-mecca of animal friendly, natural, tree-hugging, (good) smelly hippy commercial cosmetics. I know a handful of people that swear by Lush products, and in my limited experience with them I've been truly impressed.

For starters, the title of shaving cream is totally apt, but not really what I expected. Ambrosia is very much a cream, and it's very much for putting on your face to shave with. However, it has no foaming, no real lathering, no white beardy look when applied. The cream rubs into the skin (and presumably stubble) leaving a smooth and ripe canvas of a chin.

Let me state now, free of shame, that I have a sensitive, supple, bonny face that requires an exacting hand. I regularly suffer from razor burn on my under-chin and upper lip areas. Most of the products I've used in recent years have been focused on sensitive skin and razor burn prevention. I'm not sure if it's because of ingredients in the products or the fact that my face has a crotch-related identity crisis, but my experience has been that shaving creams, foams or gels that are marketed at "bikini area" shaving are the best for my face. Well, "bikini area" be gone, Ambrosia tackles the problem in a relatively-manly fashion. The natural ingredients have been moisturizing and protecting enough that over the course of a week using Ambrosia I haven't had any significant burn. I won't go so far as to claim that the product is a miracle, I have still gotten a bit of tenderness and irritation, but far less than usual. My skin has stayed soft this week. I've found myself repeatedly stroking my would-be beard zone in moments of longing for the caress of my special lady.

Personally I enjoy the scent of Ambrosia, but on the Lush website and on the internet abroad there seems to be a rift about enjoying the scent. A lot of people hate it, which becomes a bigger problem when the smell is attached to your upper lip and you have to over-clean (and dry) in order to get rid of it. I couldn't tell you what the cream actually smells like, but to me it seems gender neutral, soft, and pleasant.

I've read complaints that people have had razor clogging issues. The directions indicate clearly to sluice your razor occasionally, and that method has worked for me. I believe a lot of people probably either don't rub the cream in properly (leaving it super creamy when attempting to shave) or don't wait more than 3 seconds for the cream to properly condition your skin. My advice to anyone trying Ambrosia is to thoroughly "lather" it (no real lather develops) and to wait a moment for the cream to sink in and work it's magic before scraping it off. It shouldn't completely absorb, but it should create a well lubed jawline with minimal globs of product.

My overall problem with Lush products is the (usually) hefty pricetag. I can never justify to myself investing my retirement heavily in mall-bought cosmetics. To their credit, the Lush conditioners, shampoos, and hand soaps that my girlfriend frequently uses (along with this shaving cream) seem to go a looooong way. The Jungle conditioner bar that we use has lasted eons and stays solid. This bottle might be reasonably priced at $16+, and if it continues to work through this whole 8.8oz monster bottle that I received as a gift from someone awesome recently I'll likely purchase it with my own hard earned lettuce.
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The skinny:
* Pros: Soft, smooth, sensitive, stimac-worthy shaving solution
* Cons: May clog razor, expensive, it seems you either love it or hate it.

Make an Assessment:
This product seems to have pretty mixed reviews, a lot of people swear it's the worst shaving cream they've tried. I've had exactly the opposite experience so far. In fact, if it keeps working like it has it may be the best shave cream I've ever tried. Another reviewer at Associated Content claims it's "The Best Shaving Product for Sensitive Skin." I wouldn't jump into it face first, especially if you're pretty grizzled and opt for the scents like "Cold Steel" "Rugged Outback" or "Stag Musk". Fortunately, Lush will often let you take home a sample of any product you're curious about. A couple uses should be enough to fall in love with Ambrosia, it is, after all, crafted specifically for the Gods.


Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):
* Grade: A
* Score: 95%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★½
* My Feelings: Woooo!


I know I'm a girly-man, insult me all you like, I know my hot girlfriend is gonna appreciate this.

NB-1600 Notebook Cooling Thing

The link for the post is directed to monoprice.com where I purchased this product labeled as "NB-1600 Xtreme Notebook Cooling Pad". After a tiny amount of research (read: "googling") I found that this product is actually from the Shenzhen Century Electronic Technology Co., Ltd. in, of course, great mother China. Here in the states the common branding is "Just Cooler". The same product can be found on various other websites, including Amazon.com. Prices vary from ~$10 to ~$20. At monoprice it's $9.33 + s&h.

I bought this cooler because I was buying some cables from monoprice and I wanted to make the shipping count. Plus, my archaic laptop has always had heat issues and it was time to cut the poor old lady a break.

My actual review can be brief. Basically, I've had this cooler for a couple months and I've already gotten my $10 worth out of it. The fan is ample size and power to move air. The air is directed out towards the back of the computer instead of downward at the desk like some idiotic coolers.

I'll note here that I've made a slight alteration to the pad since it arrived. I noticed that the rubber bumpers that are used to create a channel for the air to flow underneath the computer weren't quite sufficient so I glued some "feet" onto the top of the pad to open the channel by ~1/2in. This resulted in more airflow instantly, and thus, a more chilly computing experience. I've had the pad running for days on end a couple of times and it hasn't failed me yet. It still cools like the day I busted it out of the blister pack.

To make things more scientific, here are some numbers:
HD Temp. Avg. (30 min. continuous cpu usage):
1) no cooler: 116
2) cooler: 114

Time built-in laptop fans running (30 min. continuous cpu usage):
1) no cooler: 24 minutes
2) cooler: 4 minutes

So yeah, those aren't particularly stunning results or anything, but I can tell you that my old slab of dell has been much happier and more spry with the new cooler on.
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The skinny:
* Pros: cheap, light, easy
* Cons: will probably break soon, doesn't cool lappy by tens of degrees


Make an Assessment:
Overall I would say that this cooler has been worth the $10 I put into it. If there's anything else that you need from monoprice I'd say go for it. Even if the pad doesn't work perfectly with your laptop you'll still have a pretty sweet USB powered $10 drink cooling coaster.


Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):
* Grade: B
* Score: 82%
* If it were a movie: ★★★½
* My Feelings: ☺

The Hangover

Many casual movie reviewers in the blogosphere, or the internet at large, will only go all or nothing on their reviews. It's either two thumbs way up or the worst movie they've ever seen, 5 stars or none at all. I personally think this is a totally bone-headed way of reviewing, and it casts a long shadow over the accuracy of ratings on sites like imdb.com and rottentomatoes.com. The reason I mention all of this is that last night I watched a fine film that has seemingly fallen prey to all-or-nothing raters, The Hangover.

The averages for the ratings of The Hangover are fairly accurate in my opinion, with enough haters giving it no rating at all to balance out all the people who think it's the Citizen Kane of screwball comedies. The general consensus has granted The Hangover between 70% and 80% positive reviews.

First, I'll go through my complaints. This film doesn't really stretch out and do anything new. There's a pretty stereotypical and completely expected storyline here. A handful of excellent gags and some fine comedic deliveries are needed to save what could easily be a dull showing. Another huge problem with this movie is that the marketing campaign for it was so expansive that many of the greatest moments were completely spoiled even before the premiere. I try to avoid watching trailers and ruining films, but with The Hangover it was virtually impossible to accomplish. What could have been some incredible laughs were spoiled by having seen complete scenes in the tv ads.

Those problems aside, this movie is great. The acting is good. As a huge Zach Galifianakis fan, I'm extremely biased about his performance. Ed Helms delivers well (if not a bit too Andy-ish at times), Ken Jeong (Señor Chang from Community) comes through with some shining lines, and Jeffrey Tambor brrings in a few brief but hilarious moments. Even the parts of the cast I wasn't familiar with do a passable job, no real praiseworthy accomplishments, but few completely dead moments.

The pacing is another strong point. There are a few moments without a laugh, but the film keeps the story moving and basically stays entertaining from start to finish.

I'm a huge believer in the notion that first and foremost movies are made to be entertaining. Every scene doesn't have to be completely original or artistic. As long as a movie knows what it is, and doesn't try too hard, it can be enjoyed fully. The Hangover seems totally self-aware throughout, going for screwball comedy and nothing more. Many of the negative reviews I've read state the opinion that this movie is just stupid. I say of course it's stupid, it's supposed to be. This style of comedy is mostly zany and shocking gags with just a hint of intelligent humor, mostly in the form of references, that are meant to float by. Anyone claiming this movie is stupid has missed the point entirely. I say loosen that tie, get unbuttoned, and learn to laugh at dick and fart jokes.
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The skinny:

* Pros: Light and funny, easy to watch
* Cons: Overly methodical, predictable, you've seen 1/3 of the jokes already


Make an Assessment:

This is a good film, certainly worth watching now that it's out in the home theater domain. The humor is often base and crude, so my Grandma's house might not have been the ideal venue. I don't know yet if it stacks up (in my mind) to other uber-popular naughts comedies like Superbad, Knocked Up, Juno, Wedding Crashers, Old School and Dodgeball. I tend to want to enjoy more obscure movies, but this one could be considered a good pop guilty pleasure.


Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):

* Grade: B
* Score: 85%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★
* My Feelings: ☺

Sansa Fuze Silicone Skin, Belt Clip & Armband

I know this is going to be ridiculous for anybody who linked from my facebook or elsewhere, but my latest review can be seen here.

That's http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001BZQ2CS if the link doesn't work. 
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The skinny:

* Pros: As expected, Grippy, Jazzy Color Options
* Cons: Flimsy Clip, Small-ish Armband


Make an Assessment:

Overall it is totally worth the $3 shipped. It's like a kind of shady $3 insurance policy for your Fuze. I'm happy with the purchase.


Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):

* Grade: B
* Score: 85%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★
* My Feelings: ☺

องค์บาก 2

Ong-bak 2 is a good film. For the overall, scroll it, otherwise read the following babble.

Ong-bak 2 isn't really a sequel. It's billed as a prequel, but it's not actually that either. As I was kindly warned before watching, the story really has nothing to do with Ong-bak outside of the fact that Tony Jaa's character uses crazy martial arts to either kill or maim every other character in the film. Of course, it goes without saying that nobody in their right mind would watch this film expecting to be drawn in by story. The story isn't bad either. Instead of a modern-day take leading itself easily into Ong-bak, the setting is taken all the way back to 15th century feudal Thailand.

I suspect the naming of the film may have something to do with cashing in on a previously established audience from the original. I also suspect that despite any real story-related links to the original film they will try to touch on some tie-ins with the next installment, Ong-bak 3, slated for release this year.

Naming issues aside, as a standalone film this is in almost every way entertaining, but not quite complete. The fights are another incredible display of Tony Jaa's acrobatic and martial arts abilities. The digital effects aren't the cleanest, but are used in a tasteful and subtle way, staying out of Tony Jaa's way for the most part. The dramatic dialogue is certainly passable, and the acting is very good given the genre. The story embodies the stereotypical lowly, unskilled kid turned killing machine in order to avenge the death of his family.

My main criticisms would be that the character development is about as deep as the shallow end of a kiddie pool, and that the film ends rather abruptly. It's difficult to develop a rapport with any character but Jaa, and by the time we finally get a grasp on him the film is over. Word is that they intentionally cut the film short with the plan of Ong-bak 3 coming in to pick up the pieces. The choice to make that happen rather than try to produce the rest in this film with limited funds will make for a better overall product.  However, it does make this installment feel like an installment instead of a powerhouse film on it's own two feet.

The film really scores with constant and varying action, a selection of different martial arts styles that are very fun to watch, and a keen attention to smooth cinematography in beautiful Southeast Asian locations. I also award some nods  for a couple fun twists and turns and a heavy emphasis on what I can only assume is actual Thai history and culture. I don't like to feel like I'm learning things watching action flicks, but this easily stayed interesting throughout.

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The skinny:

* Pros: Tony Jaa's jaw-dropping skills will make you say "THIS IS INSANE!" out loud, beautiful vistas, ridiculous (and awesome) characters and costumes
* Cons: Having to wait for Ong-bak 3 to come out later this year, feeling like you've exercised just by watching Tony Jaa go crazy for 90 minutes


Make an Assessment:

* If you like Tony Jaa's movies, action movies in general, or watching ridiculous stunts and bone-crushing fighting watch Ong-bak 2. If you don't enjoy those things you won't like 90% of the film, but you can still learn a little bit about Thai history and see some beautiful landscapes.


Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):

* Grade: B+
* Score: 88%
* If it were a movie: ★★★★
* My Feelings: ☺


Hyping up Ong-bak 3 on websites like IMDB and RottenTomatoes will give it a better shot at hitting US theaters. Don't you want to see Tony Jaa knee some 7 ft. tall bald guy's head off on the big screen?

Sansa Clip Mp3 Player

The SanDisk Sansa line of Mp3 players has served me well for approximately the last 60 days. I have a 4GB Sansa Fuze that I acquired on black friday and busted out around Christmas time, and I recently Woot!-ed a 2GB Sansa Clip.

I opted to get the Clip because it provides exactly what my new Fuze doesn't, ultra-portability. The Fuze has a nice display that can provide adequate picture, video, and snazzy interface viewing. However, there hasn't come a time yet that I've wanted to check out last night's episode of Project Runway on my hip when I'm cycling in traffic at 25 mph. For this reason I wanted to get a cheaper, less snazzy, lighter in all respects player to provide my exercise tunes/npr podcasts.

When Woot! had the 2GB Sansa Clip (refurb) for $18 shipped I had to pounce. I've used the Clip a handful of times and I'll say first and foremost that the design is almost perfect for exercising.

As the name indicates, there is a belt clip along the backside of the potato-chip sized player to facilitate grab-n-go situations. The belt clip is sturdy enough that I don't feel the need to get a $2 silicone skin from Amazon, but that option is available should the clip ever fail.

The sound quality is good. It's probably not top-of-the-line, but I'm impressed. Even with the included earbuds (which I hope aren't also refurb) the sound is sufficient for me.

I can't yet speak to the battery life, but I can say that I've only had to charge it once straight out of the bag and it's lasted at least 4 hours of listening so far with no excessive battery drain.

The interface consists of a single-color tiny led screen, four button wheel (not scrolling), home button, power/hold button, and volume control.  The display is ample, but not at all impressive. The volume control is easy enough to use while clipped on and running or cycling. My biggest complaint is that the wheel doesn't scroll, so navigating through a large list of songs means tirelessly clicking down a million times. Aside from that the menus are completely intuitive. This gets a parent-usable, maybe even grandparent-usable nod.

I'll note that in addition to Sansa claiming their players are Mac and Win compatible, both the Clip and the Fuze have been very friendly with Ubuntu (9.10 karmic koala) Linux as well. I haven't had any recognition or transfer issues with either player.
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The skinny:

• Pros: Ultra-portable, easy to use, inexpensive, good sound quality, Linux compatible
• Cons: No scroll wheel, could easily slip between couch cushions for eternity

Make an Assessment:

• Obviously this is a glowing review. If you're not the iPod Touch type you should swing with Sansa. Knowing the quality of this product I'd probably pay upwards of $25 to replace it, maybe even retail price for one not refurbished (and I'm a cheap bastard). I'm extremely pleased and will probably buy more form them in the future.

Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):

• Grade: A
• Score: 97%
• If it were a movie: ★★★★★
• My Feelings: ☺

 
Listen to music as much as possible. Music makes life better. You can regularly find these on sale from various websites, or in Best Buy. Also Woot! has had a ton of Sansa players recently, keep eyes peeled.

Haven Hospice

*I know I'm way too wordy. I'll mellow that out in time. If you don't want to read everything but want the gist of it, scroll straight down to the bottom section.

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For my first review, I'd like to start with a bang. However, there aren't many bangs in my life right now so I'm going slightly offbeat. This review is about Haven Hospice.

For those unfamiliar with end-of-life care, Hospice is a place that you go when you have a "life-limiting" illness, have a family member with a "life-limiting" illness, or want to be surrounded by old people who are ready to die. Hospice generally focuses on palliative care, and aims to keep people happy and ease the preparation for death for all survivors of the patients. Haven Hospice is a particular care center here in Gainesville. They have been charged with the task of helping our family, specifically my grandma.

I'll give Haven an "A" for the ease of getting into the program, and the value for the money. Bottom line, we all know heathcare is expensive. Between Medicare and whatever magic they use on insurance companies/medical equipment providers we haven't had to shell out one red cent yet (I think). Within one week of dealing with Haven we received an endless supply of medical equipment to help with my grandma's immobility. We've had appointments with nurses, a social worker, and a case manager all at home. Today she was admitted to the main care facility and she's had a doctor's attention as well.

The facility that she's in now is swanky. She's got a private room bigger than some of my friends' apartments. The room has two great views, a lot of comfortable furniture, and a huge bathroom with a shower bench that I'm jealous of. The whole place would get two thumbs up if not for a intermittent high-pitch noise from the central air unit that's incredibly annoying, and the fact that of about 46,000 pieces of art in the building approximately none of them are hung level.

So far they've done a great job of helping, and trying to keep my grandma comfortable. That being said, I'd like to complain. My beef so far with Haven has been a series of miscommunications that have led to annoyance. At least once we received the wrong equipment because Haven failed to communicate properly with their equipment suppliers. A couple of times we've been given conflicting information from different people at Haven. Just today at the Haven facility there was a miscommunication between staff members that led to issues with medication management, which is pretty vital for a hypertensive diabetic vitamin-deficient tinnitus sufferer. Again, nothing dangerous has happened, just a couple headaches for us.

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The skinny:

• Pros: Super friendly and attentive staff, work quickly, they've seen it all, cheap or free through medicare, swanky quarters, lots of home care
• Cons: Minor communication issues, they probably can't keep my grandma alive for the next 80 years

Make an Assessment:

• I would highly reccommend working with Haven Hospice for all of your end-of-life healthcare needs.  They'll treat you with respect and kindness whether you're a spry, dapper, 25 year-old boy or that boy's terminally ill grandma.

Overall Review Score (I haven't figured out how I want to do this yet):

• Grade: A
• Score: 93%
• If it were a movie: ★★★★½
• My Feelings: ☺

You get the idea.